How Not to Network

Just watch this - the story will make you giggle

At a recent informal networking event I was speaking with three other ladies when a woman dressed in red stood in front of us, looked me up and down and pushed her card under my nose saying "I can help you"; she looked the next lady up and down and said nothing; then the next and thrust another card in the lady's face "and I can help you"; finally the last lady she said nothing to and bustled out of the door.

Upon turning the card over it was for weight loss.  I have never been so flabbergasted.  It wasn't so much what it was about it was how she had done it.  No manners, no by-your-leave, no "nothing".  She hadn't spoken to any of us previously.  

I spoke with the organisers and told them about her - asking them to make sure she wasn't invited again.  However I have a couple of regrets - I regret that I wasn't given time to retort and I regret that I threw her card away.  I should have kept it so I could let her know how I could help her.  I could have taught her, at the very least  some manners.

Power and Respect

These are not the same.  Many people are fooled in to thinking that they are, but simply, they are not.  I don't believe they are mutually exclusive, I just know that like money and power or money and respect, you don't get respect by being powerful.

I guess you then have to ask yourself what is it that you want - power or respect?

We all know what power is - it is in the soul of all the things that we learn as we grow.  Kings, Queens, Knights, Witches, they all had power.  Yet which of these had respect.  Not many of our fairy tales or stories taught us about respect - that was left to our parents, teachers, the Bible.

Maybe that is why so many people nowadays do not know the difference or even do not know that what they want (really) is some respect.  Respect breeds respect.  Our society today has all but lost the notion.  When I was at school we had to stand up and be quiet when a teacher entered the room.  Today you cannot hear the register being called above the chatter.

Crime is more apparent due to the media but it it more prevalent - a subject for another blog me thinks.  However criminal activities happen out of a lack of respect for others.  Maybe even a lack of respect for themselves - on the part of the perpetrator.  

Hold up - I have gone off track....  Reboot: POWER & RESPECT

All I really wanted to say, I guess, is that you don't automatically get respect when you enforce power.  You may gain power through respect but enforcement is just rule and rules were made to be broken.  If you want people to believe in you and what you do, gain their respect.  Stop thinking, and believing, you are better than everyone.  Have you met everyone?

And before I go, Power is not enforced respect, if such a notion should exist, then that is what starts wars...

Repetition

Learning is all about repetition. The more you hear something the more intuned it becomes.

Just think of all those song lyrics you have stored in the filing cabinet of your mind. Lyrics you didn't know you knew or lyrics you haven't heard for years. Suddenly the song comes on the radio and you find yourself singing along. Granted they might be a bit rusty, but if you were to listen again you would be singing along perfectly.

It is no different therefore when we learn a new skill. Take apprentices for example - they learn by repeatedly doing the same tasks.

Or a new language, a soft skill, technique, sport or anything else.

I realised this when to my surprise my two year old counted to eleven - completely out of the blue. I was amazed and couldn't work out why eleven and not ten. Until I realised that everyday we count the stairs as we walk up and down them - now ours is a weird house with eleven steps rather than the average 13. But hey. She can count because we do it everyday.

Then add to that she also knows that in her name L follows E as we are always spelling it to her. The more you say it, the more they hear it, the quicker they will learn.

The brain is a sponge. And we learn through repetition.

Altruism at BNI City Lunch (October 2012)

This is the concept of the “greater good”. It is a motivation to provide something of value to another party other than oneself. True altruism is about sacrificing something for someone other than the self with no expectation of benefit – and whether this actually exists is often debated by scientists (although I know many parents who would say that it does). 

As a member of BNI (Business Network International) every week the Chapter Director tells us that only one person from each profession is permitted to join the Chapter. However he doesn't mention the other policy that members are meant to represent their primary occupation.

Many of us work for companies that cover a lot of different areas – Orion started life as a cleaning company nearly 25 years ago. However today it’s primary business is waste management. Yes we still provide cleaning services, and have some very big clients, but the mainstay of our turnover comes from the waste management arm of Orion.

We all know we need to grow the chapter and as such we need to get new members to join. Having members that straddle a number of seats may not be the answer and maybe we need to start thinking about the grander scheme of things. If I could get a cleaning company to sign up to BNI City Lunch I would – I have no objection to it. In fact I can see how we could do reciprocal business. Their client base and prospect database is likely to be very different to mine – thus spreading the catchment net wider than if it were just me sitting there with two hats on. Granted I may lose some cleaning business to them but I may also gain business that is not suitable for them as well as gaining the waste management part of a contract for which they are tendering.

I therefore ask you are you willing to give up a hat in order to grow your network?  Can you be altruistic?

Everyday Swap Schop

Marks and Spencer (M&S) brought us the concept of Shwopping in April – via adverts featuring Joanna Lumley.  The concept has seen boxes (Shwop Drops) placed in all of their shops and in Oxfam shops too – where customers can place their unwanted clothes (from any brand).  These items are then either reused or recycled.  M&S have reported that in the first six months of the scheme more than two million items have been shwopped – diverting  865 tonnes of textiles from disposal and raising over £1.5m for Oxfam.

In fact M&S have now put on sale a cost made from wool donated through the shwop scheme.  This too isn’t a new thing either - years ago people used the wool from outgrown jumpers or woollen items with holes in and knitted new items with the yarn.  So not only are M&S recycling and reusing clothing they are recycling old ideas too – and why shouldn’t they?  The modern twist is working for them and helping the environment too.

We must remember though that this is not a new idea– we have all had clothes that our parents got from jumble sales (or as we like to call them today: “nearly new sales”) and we have all had hand-me-downs from family members.  Many people are also at home with putting their unwanted textiles into Local Authority kerbside boxes or taking them to bring banks.  In fact the whole idea of reusing clothes is an everyday notion nowadays – we donate things to charity shops or are happy to leave bags outside for charitable collections.  So what can M&S’s success be put down to?  There is no reward for the shwopee apart from the little ‘lift’ they might feel from “doing the right thing”.  Is it that they advertised the idea or that they have provided the householder with another outlet – one that may not have the stigma of those previously mentioned?

A recent report from WRAP stated that clothing sent to landfill every year was worth £140 million.  M&S estimated that 1 in 4 items of clothing sold in the UK end up in landfill.  So who is it that still isn’t recycling or reusing or donating or shwopping?  If it is you, why not, what is stopping you – it costs you nothing….